Mustache Pleasure

from by Darren Wood

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This song is 100% nonfiction.

lyrics

I weighed ninety-eight pounds, had pimples all around,
broken records was all I would play.
I had bad B.O. and all the girlies said 'no'
I got rejected almost every day.
But then, I grew a mustache...
Now I bench two-fifty, got a six pack and it's nifty
hitting parties almost every night.
I sweat Acqua Di Gio and don't tell me because I know
that keeping ladies off of me is a fight.

Growing a mustache changed my life.
It was the best decision of my life.
Took away all of my troubles and strive, yeah
growing a mustache changed my life.

I worked a dead end job cleaning toilets for the mob
that they call the U.S. Government.
I had zero benefits and my brain was bored to bits;
I was just barely scraping by with the rent.
But then, I grew a mustache...
So I got a call from Obama saying 'Hey, kid. Do you wanna
serve a while in my cabinet?'
Now I golf with Al Gore, got a penthouse by the shore
and I fly my own private jet.

Growing a mustache changed my life.
It was the best decision of my life.
Took away all of my troubles and strive, yeah
growing a mustache changed my life.

So the moral of the story is that life is hunky dory
when you got a little facial hair.
You can be real hip if you cover your lip
and make it furry like a grizzly bear.
So go, and grow a mustache...
With all the strength you can muster you should grow a cookie duster.
Grow it out until it looks like mine
and you will soon see brother that your life will be another
and every day will be sweet like wine.

credits

from Curiouser and Curiouser, track released March 20, 2012

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Darren Wood Provo, Utah

"Music should be fun and funny"
- Josiah Astle

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